Have you ever found yourself immediately saying no to a suggestion someone gives you? Most of the time, before even taking a second to consider it? We are so stuck in our own ways and it is almost second nature to wave off what someone else is recommending, all because deep down, we think we do things better than anyone else, or that we don’t need anything from anyone else to improve our lives. Even if we don’t feel that conciously, or would ever admit it. So, I want you to really ask yourself, when you hear someone make a suggestion to you, about anything, what immediately comes to mind, and, why?
It is so funny to think about myself growing up, as I assume others felt as well, the more your parents told you to do something the more you wanted to rebel, and then the older you get the more you realize they were right all along (most of the time.. within context..). That certainly is a part of growing up, you have to figure things out for yourself, but I always think about how many opportunities I could have had, or at least experienced more of or sooner if I had simply opened my mind to what I didn’t already know, let alone skipped some of the not so pleasurable moments in my life. With that being said, my point here is not to do everything that anyone tells you to do because as I have consistently mentioned, we are all different and what one person likes, may be something you very much dislike. However, it is the mindset of being open, of not allowing your mind to promptly disagree.
Humans are inherently wired for self-preservation, which can in turn manifest as selfishness - even if it is not malicious or intentional. In terms of identity protection, there is a theory called the “Backfire Effect”; this is when a suggestion made by someone else contradicts what we currently do or believe in, and is received as a threat which then makes us dig ourselves deeper in our beliefs rather than reconsider. Even if the advice or suggestions are positive, we can instinctively take it as an implication of something we have done wrong, which brings on mental discomfort and a strong desire to reject it to maintain a positive self image. This brings me back to a part in my previous blog “Just. Do. It”, as well as what I touched on above, where I mentioned that when my parents would suggest something, I would simply want to do it less, and when they told me not to do something, it gave me a stronger urge to do it. I convinced myself the way I was doing things was perfect, and they were the ones who didn’t understand. I wanted to maintain the image I had of myself, the one where I didn’t need to change anything, or that if I was going to it would be on my own terms.
My dad has been suggesting meditation since I was in highschool, he used to get me to come to the living room before going to bed and sit on the floor with him for a maximum of five minutes. He told me, just breathe, sit with your legs crossed and just focus on your breath, or just focus on one thing that makes you happy. He really tried to make it as easy as possible, but sixteen year old me just giggled and rolled my eyes and thought it was absolutely ridiculous. I never once actually tried it. As I got older and started reading self help books, meditation was the center of almost all of them. In some, they said it was the closest you could get to magic, yet still I thought “waste of time”. There was something inside of me that was convinced it was a lost cause. However, the past couple of months have been challenging, and I desperately wanted something that would help, so I thought, let's just try meditation. We are talking in the last two weeks I started meditating, and it has brought me to a level of peace I have never experienced. I genuinely do not even realize that fifteen minutes has gone by because I am indulged in my state of bliss and choose to stay there for as long as I can. My days are different, I feel lighter, happier, and have my excitement for life back.
I am not saying meditation is your answer for everything, nothing is. I would however strongly suggest it but that is besides the point, the message I want to send is to be open. Do not knock something until you try it, because you never know how powerful and beneficial it can be.
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